Grief is the price we pay for love

If today isn't the day for this topic, I don't know when would be (though coincidentally I have been meaning to write it for a few days now). Today, we have learned about the tragic shooting in Newtown, CT. It's so sad that we are dealing with this yet again- seems like it it happening on a routine basis! And of course, the loss of so many innocent children is what makes this one especially excruciating.

Not too long ago, my boyfriend of over a year, dumped me. Silly me, I thought this guy really liked me! It came completely out of left field, and while I should have remembered that love is blind, I just really did not expect this to happen with this guy. So, of course I have been moping around, feeling sorry for myself, and thinking I could never love again.

A week of this goes by.

And I then I read a blog. About a woman, who suffers anxiety and insomnia after the death of her toddler. Her toddler fell into a operating washing machine when she wasn't looking. She had to live through the horror of finding him, lifeless.

Then, I listen to a sex & relationship advice podcast. The caller is an audibly distraught female. As I listen to the pain in her voice, I feel bad, and figure she must have been dumped like me. She then proceeds to explain that she was engaged 2 weeks ago. One week ago, her fiancé died. She does not know how to live.

We always hear these type of gratitude anecdotes, but this time, I really must be mindful that things are not so bad for me.

So lately, I have been kind of blown away by the age-old social plague known as "women's body issues". Now, I abandoned fashion magazines some time ago, because I was kind of sick of creepy old white-haired men and quaif-like old ladies telling me what was "fashionable" (seriously, have you ever seen the people who "decide" what the trends are?). I have also somewhat strayed from an attempt to be skinny, rather focusing on being "healthy"- coincidentally, my clothing size has gone UP! All in a good way, of course.

I digress...

The other day, I was at the mall, and happened across a hoard of Utah county wives. If you know the type, you know what I'm talking about. For those unfamiliar, let's just say they are, generally speaking, Stepford Wives. Perfect hair, clothes, high heels - I have often marveled at how long it must take them to get ready in the morning! Anyways, these 5 or so ladies came in, fully prepared with the husband's credit card to do some serious shopping. At one point, as they were showing off outfits to each other in the dressing room, one of them says "Now, tell me where in the world you're planning to get lipo? You're so skinny!" the other, grabbing a smidgen of skin "here, where my bulge is!".

Words. cannot. express.

I think in the past, I might have laughed, but in this moment, I was truthfully just sad! Sad, that this beautiful woman with everything she has done, felt the need to get lipo! And her friend was right, there was nowhere to get lipo from! I can't say what her main motivations are; I notice that these "Utah County" wives as they are known are often striving to be perfect for their husbands- and frankly, I'm not sure if the husbands share the sentiment, but all I can say is, if you have popped out any number of children, how can any rational person expect you to still look 20? If they do, they need to go- or get a lesson in the indelible trauma of child birth on a woman! And, all the men I know, they prefer a woman with a little "cushion for the pushin'"- at least enough so that it's not all clackity clackity bones on bones, right?!

Anyways, I guess I'm just dreaming of a day in which we can all just love it as it is. And also, the haute couture fashion industry is a joke! But that's a post for another day...